Who is Joe Alwyn but Nobody
He has resting melancholy face and that kind of sunken-in, Tim Burton look that drives gay people wild. His characters stumble through lines, barely carrying on conversations above a whisper. He’s impossible to read, perhaps why he was cast as the world’s biggest miscommunicator, Nick, from Sally Rooney’s Conversations with Friends. With his disaffected cadence, it often seems like he isn’t acting, he’s just there. He’s worked with titans like Ang Lee, Yorgos Lanthimos, and Claire Denis. He looks like Gary from Spongebob:
I am, of course, describing Taylor Swift’s man-boyfriend-not beard-husband(?)-collaborator, Joe Alwyn.
Where would you know Joe Alwyn from? He's been in movies you may have seen but I guarantee you don’t remember him in them. He was the guy who was being scary towards Emma Stone during The Favourite. He was the guy being scary towards Lucas Hedges in Boy Erased. He was the guy being scary towards Cynthia Erivo in Harriet. He’s played an anti-Semite. Then a war hero? His oeuvre is certainly confusing.
It’s interesting that a man known for his subdued acting style plays characters that are often violent, lecherous, and brutal. His performances serve as a reminder that masculinity is often blasé, passive. Alwyn is a mystery, but only some of his mystique can be attributed to the fact that he’s a Pisces man (Taurus moon of course). He’s intentional about protecting his privacy, and on top of that, he’s British; the icing on the cake is that he holds a dual degree in English and Theatre….(I will not be taking questions or comments at this time). This is a man who will not tell anyone about himself. lol. It is this reservedness that is either the genesis of—or the obstacle to—his total stardom; see, I can’t figure out if Joe Alwyn can actually act.
To understand what I mean, you need to watch the following clip, captured for me by my friend Mia. Thank you Mia! It’s from the first episode of Conversations with Friends when Nick invites Frances to see his show. Nick is a D-list actor with a much more famous wife (If that’s not perfect meta-casting I don’t know what is) acting onstage in Tennessee William’s Cat On A Hot Tin Roof. This is very true to life because UK theatres love to put on Tennessee Williams and have people with British accents try to fake southern ones. I’ve seen it; it’s not pretty. Regardless of whether the show is in this joke, this is a CHOICE for any actor to make:
“Do I have to get down on my knees on the floor and crauawl”
It’s all very when Trina from Victorious said “Not even on crutches” during her one-woman show. Is that Joe Alwyn really trying to do Cat On A Hot Tin Roof? I had to pause the show, rewind and laugh three more times before I could watch the rest of the episode. I mean it is so…what’s the word? Unserious.
The other week, I told my friends Alwyn would be a great Joe Pitt in Angels in America. Then today I looked up his drama school credits, and well, he already played him! (I am accepting casting director offers any time.) Joe Pitt is cut from the same cloth as Joe Alwyn—they both have secrets, people think they’re gay, and they’re having sex with a scary woman. It’s the role you give to your fourth best male actor, who is usually the worst in the program. Hence, my original belief that this was just bad acting.
But could his performance have been intentional? Is it funny that Frances is attracted to Nick-the-star, and that Nick-the-actor doesn’t pass muster? The novel cleverly sidesteps whether Nick has acting chops. Of his presence onstage Rooney says, “His manner was cool and detached in a way that suggested sexual brutality.” Then readers are told "The other actors had off-key accents and everything onstage looked like a prop waiting to be handled. In a way this just emphasized how spectacularly beautiful Nick was, and made his misery seem more authentic.” If Nick being a bad actor was the intended effect, then Alwyn’s a genius actually?
Perhaps like Nick, Joe Alwyn’s beauty carries him to a place where talent doesn’t even register. But if beauty alone could spellbind an audience, Harry Styles wouldn’t have caught flack for his last two features, and people would respect Hayden Christianson as an actor. Maybe it is Alwyn’s latest film, Catherine Called Birdy that holds the key. In it, he plays a charming uncle that Birdy crushes on (Okay, what is with the uncle incest agenda lately?) In the movie, he emits guileless beauty, but it’s just that: a blank slate. He’s a guy for a teenage girl to imagine a life with. His muted expressions turn him into a canvas. Joe Alwyn is whoever you want him to be; he’s a person whom you can project all your hopes and fears onto, and well, isn’t that what cinema is? No wonder he collects auteurs like matchbooks; movies depend upon fantasy.
I mean, does there look like there’s a thought in that head?
Also, I defer as always, to Hunter Harris on this topic. She posted this a few days ago after I’d already outlined this essay and was too lazy to write about something else. I hope she will forgive me & please go read her infinitely funny post!
Please let me know if you have any Joe Alwyn thoughts! Mostly my conclusion is we wouldn’t be talking about White male actors this mediocre if River Phoenix was still alive. Keanu Reeves took all his roles and now look where we are…Love him though.
Monkeying’s Landing
I’m doing a Game of Thrones rewatch and naturally I have also rewatched this video 5 times since. It’s very comforting because it reminds me of the conversations you’d have with guys you sat next to in math class. Please tell me you know what I mean.
You’re right I had no idea who you were talking about until you gave me some examples lol